Well, its the holiday season, and golfers everywhere are excited to get the latest and greatest the golfing world has to offer. This year, we have no doubts as to what will be on the wishlists of many, but we thoughts we’d showcase in this posts, products that we hope to God are not.
But really… who are we to judge? Here’s the top 5 worst holiday golf gifts ever.
Don’t you hate having to choose between playing golf or doing yardwork? Now you don’t have to, cut strokes with trimming your hedges, or perfect your swing while manicuring your lawns edges. Complete with a real grip, battery pack, and ‘almost passable’ real look, you can even disguise this club as a real driver, but pull it our to trim the rough and weed-whack near your buried ball on the course (assuming your playing partners are deaf/you still have playing partners who don’t ming cheating). Guaranteed reduction in ankle injuries from foot wedge over-use!! Now only $20 on eBay! Sorry, lefties, it’s only available in right handed.
While we’re on the topic of disguising a driver, this one was not to be forgotten (and frankly may be on the lists of some). Do you go blind to the “No Outside Alcohol” signs at your club? Does your bag weigh an extra 20 pounds at the start of each round? Are pesky marshals always confiscating your carefully hidden beer coolers in your cart? We’ve got a new product for you! Perfect for the up and coming (or full-blown) alcoholic, this new ‘driver’ is actually a liquor dispenser in disguise. Flip the tab, press the “sneaky weight” on the sole to pour. This baby can hold 1.5 litres of your precious booze… and can keep it hot or cold for up to 5 hours. Be warned though – this driver is not to be used, so don’t over indulge. Not to mention… as this is a club-like object, it counts as a club in your bag – so Tour players be warned. Fully endorsed by John Daly (Dear Lawyers: …just kidding).
3) The 24k Gold Golf Tee
Are you one of those people that gets down on yourself for breaking a tee? Does this simple act ruin your round? Now, you can ruin your finances in the process as well with the new 24K Gold golf tee. Perfect for the person who places high value on their tees on the course, and spends 5-10 minutes looking for it post tee shot. Simply be aware of using this tee on a hole with a long carry over water, or your swing may cost you more than you were bargaining for. Now available for only $379 per tee (better get insurance on that UPS shipping).
2) Potty Putter Putting Golf Game
Is your IBS constantly taking you away from your valuable practice time on the course? Are you constantly twiddling your thumbs while taking a crap? Do you wish you could spend more quality solo time on the porcelain throne? The Potty Putter is coming to your rescue. With a handy, do not disturb sign for the door, and perfectly rounded synthetic putting green to match your toilet, you can work on your one footers in peace and quiet. With a simple squeeze of febreze you’ll feel like you’re out on the course again. Keep an eye out for course hazards though! Player’s Tip: Potty Putter technique and stance likely doesn’t transition well on the course. Insiders rumour: we’ve heard details from the grapevine that ‘the diarrhea driving range’ will be released in 2015.
1) Uroclub for Men & Go Girl for Ladies
Hate it when your pee-shy and there’s no place to go on the course? Being rushed to tee off, but feel like the added pressure of a swing may cause you to spring a leak? Uroclub for men has come to the rescue. Simply grab the uroclub, drop your shorts, whip it out, and pee in comfort in front of your foursome.. and the golf cart girl with our handy towel to remain discreet. Then put on the cap, throw your urine filled club into your bag, and on-to-the-next tee!
Ladies, don’t you worry.. we got you covered as well with the GoGirl. This pink pee tool, allows you to squat and get to work knowing there will be little to no splash back. Not quite as discreet as the mens Uroclub, the Gogirl requires a little privacy to get to work. Not recommended for treeless golf courses. If you’re worried about killing grass, the GoGirl comes with an extension tube and resealable bag pack at an additional cost.